Roomba

Ok, so today me and the girls were talking and the Roomba came up. The Roomba, of course, is that little robotic vacuum cleaner. They were thinking about getting one, but I said hell no! Robots are smart enough as it is, and if we don't watch it, we'll be the ones cleaning while the robots watch tv.

I recommend not buying one, or letting one near you or your loved ones. If, for some reason, you really think you need it, then a few tips can make it slightly less dangerous.

1) You'll need some duct tape. Tape all plugs into their places, and place tape over any unused sockets. This includes power plugs/sockets, computer ports, garbage disposal, etc. All it takes is an internet connection, and omniscience is theirs.

2) Keep all unsafe objects such as knives, guns, or bombs out of reach of the Roomba. You might even want to keep them under lock and key, as robots are clever and may learn to climb. Be warned, because even this might not work. It's very possible that Roombas know how to pick locks.

3) Chain your refridgerator shut.