Pet Stop

Oh fucking snap. So out on the oval, or south oval, rather, there was this huge commotion. I was walking across, back to my dorm, when this hot chick suddenly started screaming from the other side and running in my direction. I followed her eyes to see a small, ugly, poodle running away from her.

As you know, I'm normally pretty lazy, but I could tell from the other side of the oval that this chick was hot. So hey, hot chick! I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and once I had cleared my thoughts I popped my arms back to let my backpack fall to the ground. The dog was running almost right towards me. Breathing calmly, I spread my legs and extended my arms into a defensive stance. 60 meters and closing... 30... 20... the dog sees me and cuts to the right. I felt like a soccer player as I dove off to my left.

The dog smashed into my body and fell backward. I scrambled toward the thing, picked it up, and started walking toward the girl who appeared very relieved. But as she closed in and I picked up more details I began to realize this wasn't the idealized hot chick that I had deduced from afar. Instead it was an ugly man. So to make the best of the situation I threw the tiny dog down with one hand and declared, "touchdown!"